Kingdom Death is a narrative board game described as “boutique” which means “expensive as hell.” A Kickstarter for the game in 2016 raised over 12 million dollars and current unopened copies of the game are selling for over a thousand dollars on ebay. Miniatures produced for the game sell out quickly and almost all of…
Previously on Hard Ticket to Baghdad: Eazy-E has traveled to the throne room of Saddam Hussein under the guise of Pauly Shore, but he is experiencing unspeakably strange sensations that threaten to reveal his identity. Meanwhile, Kurt Cobain and Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes have fought their way into Baghdad, sacrificing an old friend and commandeering a…
Previously on Hard Ticket to Baghdad: The real Bill Hicks aka Alex Jones arrived in Kuwait in a float plane and picked up Kurt Cobain, Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, and their tentacled companion Station. They’re in pursuit of the Yellowcake uranium Saddam needs to fuel his Omniopticon and possibly tear open the cosmic veil that separates…
Previously on Hard Ticket to Baghdad: Kurt Cobain, Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, and the unspeakably cursed Eazy-E, along with their flutist guy Friday Station, have traveled to Bongo Island, Kuwait, to lay their hands on a shipment of yellowcake uranium bound for Iraq. They need to track down the Iraqi buyer or the Russian seller,…
Zack: Heyyy, Steve! Long time no talk! Steve: I thought you might have died. Or joined ISIS. Zack: I don’t think I could stand wearing black in the desert like those guys. That’s a serious commitment to a whole aesthetic. Zack: You seem a more likely candidate anyway. Steve: What?! Why would you say that…
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: I make mistakes. Every mommy does. Even mistakes the jelly eyes see from among their glistening branches. In my experience, most of my mistakes come from being overwhelmed. It’s natural to want to do everything possible to raise our little ones right and please the…
Summer is here, mommies, and we all want to look and feel great, whether we’re in the mall or in the mangroves. We think of our little ones as boundlessly energetic, but I recently noticed my youngest, Astra, seemed very lethargic. These are the favored times, when our little ones should be outside all day, getting tan…
It’s 1993. Yo! MTV Raps is still on the air, Kurt Cobain is battling his own and sundry other demons in Texas, and Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes is up to her eye black in Tonies. Halfway across the world, in the desolate Burrekh Mountains of Turkmenistan, Compton-based rapper Eazy-E and his faithful companion Station have…
The year is 1993. Kurt Cobain is off in the desert looking in his heart-shaped box and Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes is doing some Tone-policing back in the USA. Meanwhile, Eazy-E and Station have traveled to Egypt to investigate a crashed Arcturian meteor, only to find the meteor has gone missing. Clues seem to suggest…
The year is 1993. Eazy-E is somewhere in Egypt with Station investigating a meteor and Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes is blasting a flamethrower at Tony Toni Tone. Kurt Cobain drank ayahuasca, met his dead fetus spirit animal, experienced a dire prophecy, and was stabbed and left for dead in the desert. Fueled by revenge, Kurt…