I’m going to let you in on a little secret: I make mistakes. Every mommy does. Even mistakes the jelly eyes see from among their glistening branches. In my experience, most of my mistakes come from being overwhelmed. It’s natural to want to do everything possible to raise our little ones right and please the…
A karate chop to a human face forever
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Millennials, you cannot toil for the elders until you take this pledge
I admire and adore the millennials. Obviously, it’s because I am one, not one of the godlike elders who enslave us. That doesn’t mean that we millennials, ages 18 to 34, can’t do better. Below is a pledge all of us should take publicly, as per our role as the chattel for the last age of…
This Guy With a Boston Accent Realizes the Horror of Self-Awareness in the Face of Entropy
Oh my fackin’ gahd, bro, everything is gonna fackin’ die. Can you believe this, bro? We’re all gonna die. Us, ma, Bin Laden, even fackin’ Brady. We’re born to die, Jerry. And not only that, bro, we’re gonna fackin’ see it comin. We undestand everything, bro. Gahd created us to see our own doom. I…