WTF, D&D: Cthulhu ’90s Solo Project – The Toné Out of Space (Part 2)
Zack: Even the back way has some fans and bar-goers hanging out. They look at you and clear out when they see the chainsaw and the flamethrower. You reach a door guarded by a huge bouncer.
Steve: Going to use my feminine charms to try to convince him to let us inside.
Zack: You’re holding a lit flamethrower.
Steve: My feminine charm is to say, “Get out of our way or I’m turning you into charcoal.”
Zack: He runs away and you head inside. You can hear Tony! Toni! Tone! belting out “If I Had No Loot” on the venue’s sound system. Their dressing room is up ahead.
Steve: Kicking in the door, ready to torch the room.
Zack: You kick it open and it’s completely empty. Like, not just that they aren’t there, it is 100% empty. No furniture or anything like that.
Steve: Those tuning forks had to be outdoors, so if they have something planned with them they must be outside. Is there like a courtyard to this place?
Zack: No courtyard.
Steve: What about like a parking lot or something?
Zack: You passed near the parking lot. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
Steve: The roof! Going to threaten a crew member in the back to get us access to the roof.
Zack: You find some big, union crew type guy who seems pretty unconcerned about your flamethrower and chainsaw. “Ey, aren’t you the TLC broads? My daughter loves you. Can I get an autograph?”
Steve: Sign whatever he wants “‘Never stop dreaming’ – Left Eye.” Have the other girls sign it.
Zack: As you are signing 8×10 glossies that he happened to have stuffed in his work smock, you notice three figures approaching you from the stairs leading to the roof. They’re wearing matching vinyl pork pie hats and different colors of disgustingly baggy jeans. Colors that shouldn’t exist like mustard yellow and watermelon rind green. It’s Toni. Three Tonies.
Steve: Tony! Toni! Tone!
Zack: No, just Toni. Three times.
Steve: Oh, I get it. This is some Liminal States shit.